Ha. Get this...

Mother comes into my room.

She says, "Where is my fly swatter? If that damn cleaning lady threw it away...
That's the thing I hate about cleaners. Instead of wasting time on flowers and all that she could've cleaned the fans like i asked her too. Also..." *continues ranting*

Owned.

My friends, I'm sorry to announce...

But there is a cleaner among us.
*Yells of Outrage*

Hola !

So, I figured the cleaner would just... clean?

The lady is insane, with all due respect. Last wednesday I was assured by my mother I would be returning to a clean home, empty home. Empty being the key word. As in the sense, "Devoid of humanoid life forms." I don't really care for clean homes. Clean or messy, home is home as long as there are no strangers there.

So as i approached my front gate, i heard to my dismay, that she was cleaning downstairs, where the dogs sleep. By the way, she so obviously does not like children or animals.

"Oh hello. Don't worry I'll be done soon love. I just got carried away," (I would find out how true this was later), "Let me just finish hosing this down and you can come through."

So, i waited patiently, all smiles and nods, wishing so much that she would JUST LEAVE!! DAMMIT!

"Dogs are so messy aren't they. Just like children." Okay... Hold up. You're comparing animals and children? To a person who was a child NOT that long ago? To her face? Also to a person who happens to love animals? Now not was i only impatient for her to leave.. But i also was starting to dislike her.

I admit, when I finally got inside I was pretty impressed. Our house is NEVER clean. I mean, we have certain standards. We aren't pigs. But it just never has that brand new clean feeling, our house. And not only is it never clean, it is also EXTEREMLY messy. That is not an over-exageration. It's an understatement. So, obviously seeing the house like that i was a bit awestruck. And pretty respectful towards the cleaner.

Till I went into the bathroom. Then I knew she was just insane.

Frangipani's everywhere. In the sink, on the window sill, on the floor outside the shower... IN THE TOILET. No fucking joke. I have photographic evidence.

I mean what the fuck? Who is she trying to impress? She's a cleaner. She's spose to clean. That is all that is required. Now i'm thinking, "I need to use the bathroom, but my mum'll want to see the flowers. I'm so fucking screwed."

Thank the lord I remembered our second toilet. Tucked away at the back of the house. But let's not get into that.

So after about an hour and a half more, she comes inside. Jabbering away about random shit that I can't remember. And then she goes to the fridge, takes out those lil mini chocolate bars, and puts one on each of our pillows. I stayed close to the phone. You know... In case I needed to call the police.

Eventually, she finally left.

Now I'm not ungrateful. I mean the house is clean. What more could you want? Exactly. That's why all her flowers and shit is annoying. But that's nothing compared to the fact that she took it upon herself to put things away.

And now, I cannot find jack shit. Which is what this major rant really all comes down to. I swear she ate it. We had piles of random shit lying around and it's all gone. And our house is small. There isn't many places to hide piles of random shit, hence why we had piles of random shit lying around because the previous piles of random shit were already hidden within cupboards and the like.

If she threw out my piles of random shit, i will calmly take some random shit and shove it up her behind. Then I will go to her house and throw her things away and put flowers in her toilet.

But worst thing she did... Was touch my guitar. No One... Touches... The Guitar. >.<

Of course my mum was ecstatic about the clean house. So ecstatic, I'll be enjoying the cleaner's company again next wednesday...


SHIT!

Peace out

Soundtrack: But The Nuns Are Watching - I Set My Friends On Fire

Oh. Forgot. Some snippets from the conversation with the cleaner which i overheard before cuz she's so damn loud is as follows....

"Okay, I'll do you on wednesday"

"The person before you is flexible, so..."

"I can come in through the back door"



Peace Out

So, my mum just hired a cleaner. Waste of money if you ask me. But who would...
Anyways, this new arrangement has brought something to my attention. The cleaner will be cleaning........... In.My.Room.
I hate people going into my room when I'm not there. Annoys the shit out of me.
Also... Well... Uh.... Nevermind.
In conclusion, I came up with this list of 10 Places Where You Could Hide Something Valuable.

10 Places Where You Could Hide Something Valuable:

Place Number One: In A Shoe.

Sure it's old school and obvious... But no one's going to be looking in your shoes... Unless theyre actually searching for something..... Or if they have a weird foot fetish. o.O

Place Number Two: In An Acoustic Guitar.
Providing you had one, I guess this could work.. For small round objects that you could manouvre out easily. But for a scrunched up, envelope-shaped item... Probably not. And I'm not sure if a guitar would sound as good with something stuck in it.

Place Number Three: Under Your Mattress.
Oldest trick in the book. I'm sure it's not totally over rated. If your bed was already made, the cleaner would have no business looking under your mattress. Unless he/she is a snoop. Which they most likely are..... I mean... for what possible reason would you actually WANT to clean strangers' homes?

Place Number Four: Inside Your Pillowcase.
See Place Number Three.

Place Number Five: Inside A Lamp Shade.
COME ON!? WHO LOOKS INSIDE A LAMP SHADE!?

Place Number Six: In Your Underwear Drawer.
Honestly.... If your cleaner is going through your underwear drawer you need to fire them. . . A.S.A.F.P

Place Number Seven: Sticky Taped On Top Of Your Fan.
Warning: The cleaner might turn the fan on... Do not do this with breakables. Or...sharp... objects... o.O

Place Number Eight: In Your Trash Can.
Pros: I'm sure no one wants to go through your trash.
Cons: Cleaner might chuck trash out.
Sometimes that's a risk you just have to take.

Place Number Nine: Inside A Book.
For the extreme... Cut out the inside of a book and hide item inside. I'm sure cleaners don't read.

Place Number Ten: Under that Pair of Undies you wore for like Three Days in a Row 'Cuz everything else was in the wash and it started raining and none of your clothes were dry.
Yeah.... Not even you would touch them.



And that's it! Top Ten places to hide your loot when a cleaner is invading your pad.

[Disclaimer: No offence meant people. It's just a joke. I'm sure cleaners read. Many probably even have college degrees. Which I would probably never achieve :P ]

Peace Out!

Bahaha Ian.

*Points at picture of brain*
"See, this will happen to you if you take drugs. Your brain will fall out. And they'll send it to some random school and be like 'Hmm.. Yes she took drugs', cuz ur brain will fall out."


iona says:
i need to wash my hair
iona says:
brb
(H)(H)(H)DA wOOd IS MI HomE AnD MatT LamonT IS RulinG IT(H)(H)(H) :D:D:D YaY 15 :D:D:D says:
lol ok
(H)(H)(H)DA wOOd IS MI HomE AnD MatT LamonT IS RulinG IT(H)(H)(H) :D:D:D YaY 15 :D:D:D says:
wash wash wash


random.

Cannot wait for melbourne. 2 more days. So close !

Argh. My phone is being a tardation.

Gah. This blog hates me. -.-''

Hell....Yes.

LITTLE GIRLS - OINGO BOINGO

(Finally !!!!! )

OMFG *Hi Fives all around*
The video uploaded. After like.... More than half an hour. >.>

ENJOY MOFO's !


Here's a poem by my bestie, Casey, because she is in a word, awesome.

Who could have guessed
That a meeting of chance
Could lighten my burden
And allow me to dance

I could never forget him
With his clear brown eyes
They were playful and friendly
Yet intelligent and wise

He was tall and brown (RACIST! Lmfao.)
With jet black hair
He moved with such confidence
That I couldn't help but stare

He was an amazing person
With a dazzling smile
If I said I wasn't in love (lust) with him
I'd be in denial

He made my heart sing
Although I don't know why
But I will never forget him
My Lolovai...

By Casey

Awwww! Sweet. I'mt rying to talk her into getting a blog and writing all her poems on it. Cuz she' pree good.
Man that was hard writing that. Stupid fan kept blowing the original poem off my desk and Casey's running writing is hard to read.
Note: Poem is fictional !

ISNT THIS A NIGHTMARE TOOOO
OHHH OH I DONT CARE WHAT PEOPLE SAAY
I DONT CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINKK!

Well. Might be back with more later (:

Rock on

Edit: Just cracked myself laughing. Was editing post and made the poem text black. Then when i viewed it, it was like
Here's a poem by casey

*massive blank space*

awwww.

LMFAO.

peace out mofo's

Okay. Made this blog for Chelsea's sake. Cuz she INSISTED.


I have absolutely nothing to write about.